Sex before marriage is such a deadly trap that the enemy is cunningly setting for believers and youths of the modern world. I remember reading a book where the main character was Florence, who was widowed at a very young age during the war. She was in conversation with her sister and was explaining to her how she missed her husband, who was now dead. And her words in this conversation were:
“…I don’t just miss him with my heart, I miss him with my body too…”
It occurred to me that many people are in this space, missing with their bodies people whom they had no business being with in the first place, and all of this simply because they have had sex. In this same book, another character, Max, admitted that his relationship with his fiancé couldn’t have been any better when they were highly physical with each other. But outside of it, the problems felt like a black hole that was slowly drowning and overwhelming him, constantly drawing him deeper into a pit of confusion. He couldn’t think or decide clearly anymore.
Sex and its accomplices are like a soul tie. They bind and truly join you to your partner. This is why it is not uncommon that people who have had a very terrible experience in their first relationship which included sexual encounters with the wrong person end up being terribly and utterly messed up, severely wounded and deeply hurt. There are many cases and real-life examples that go beyond books and movies, some of which I am certain we are on some level familiar with.
The importance and benefits of abstinence till marriage in our world today are underemphasized and underrated. Abstinence doesn’t just protect your body from sexually transmitted diseases or impromptu pregnancies; it protects your soul, your spirit, and your mind. It protects your mind from the confusion, frustration, and lack of clarity that sets in when you already feel like one with this person in bed, when really, you couldn’t be more mismatched. It helps you to see clearly what truly matters when choosing a partner without any intimate bias.
It protects your soul from inevitable hurt, deep scars, and searing wounds. It preserves the part of you that will love another fully. It keeps you complete, as soulmates are not found in bed, but are first joined at heart before they ever even think of or are joined at the hip. A soulmate is not determined by the great sex had, but by the quality of the relationship, friendship, and connection between them.
But most importantly, it protects your spirit from death and separation. Know ye not that every other sin a man commits is outside the body…? Sexual immorality is the only sin that involves the full and complete you, and the defilement that results spreads across all aspects of your being. Know ye not that your body is a temple? Temples are kept clean, pure, sacred, and sanctified. Your body and its stewardship are a part of your assignment and purpose here on earth. Protect it, keep it, and guard it. The complete you remains undefiled and uncorrupted.
Sex really and truly is a beautiful thing, and marriage does not in any way take away the beauty, pleasure, desire, and intimacy of sex. Sex adds to the beauty of marriage and marriage makes sex truly beautiful and heavenly, as it mirrors Gods design. Sexual immorality and sex before marriage is a superfluously uneven tradeoff of what is precious for what is fleeting. The bible likens it to what Esau did in Hebrews 12- a pottage for a promise. Your virginity and purity are precious to God both as a man and a woman. Imagine the joy of truly and sincerely being one, only and forever to another, even in sexual intimacy? There is perhaps no greater joy or bliss than knowing that you both waited and chose to give yourselves fully to one another. That is honour and respect in its subtlest form.
I love my man, and I would love to be joined to him, but only in the right ways and at the right time. I love my woman, but we would both wait together because it is more profitable. Sex is good, but don’t trade your senses and reasoning; do not trade your life for a fleeting period of hormonal elevation.
Be wise. Ponder your ways and make a really level path for your feet. Choose the path of righteousness and life that brings only healing, love, peace, and joy.
Your Beloved Partner in Growth,
xoxo P.
